My Father was in town last night, so we got together and spent some 'quality time' together. Like every father-daughter relationship, we've had our share of issues. But as we both get older it's been easier for us to have real conversations, plus the added slick of liquor since both my parents are hardcore partiers and are more comfortable in an alcohol-related setting.
Side note: Brandy Alexanders are delicious and taste like chocolate milkshakes ... with brandy.
We got to hash things out about their marriage and divorce, our estranged family, my brother's recent obsession with smoking and drinking (he's about to turn 17 in August), and he told me a few tidbits of his life. It was nice to have some closure on stuff and for me the unexplained situation and following events have always left me with negative feelings. They split in a sticky way that focused more on their selfish wants than the welfare of my brother and me. I used to have a very bad impression of my father and played the martyr for my mother. It's a common complex for children who end up growing up with a single parent as essentially a 'single child'. It was nice to get a chance to get my feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and general dissatisfaction with what they did to my childhood. He gave me confidence in dealing with my mother and reminded me that he is always willing to help me if I need the help.
Some of the things we spoke about made me feel sad, even thinking back on them now by myself. But mixed in with the sad, I was able to realize that both my parents love me, they just weren't ready to have a family, my mother in particular. She was young and immature and over time I've accepted that, but it's gratifying to know I'm not the only heart she's broken. I've always subscribed to thinking that the life I've lived has made me who I am today. So although I may have been unhappy at times, I am happy with who I am now.
We ended the night talking about life in general, how the ride is what is important, and what you do with the opportunities given to you. "Life is about being lucky. Lucky enough to not get caught." is a statement he made after we talking about their partying. I always imagined him as an uptight guy, so it was nice to see him in a more relaxed view. He told me how he was proud of how much I've grown up from two years ago when I lived with him for a couple months and congratulated me for making it through my teenage years unscathed.
