English, 111 (Similes)

I've just started an online English course ... Figured I should invest in a piece of paper that verifies I've been taught proper English since I have decided to attempt to one day make a living as a writer.

Our first assignment is to fill out a worksheet on similes, metaphors, and personification. Here's a taste of my style of simile.

Figurative Language: Simile



1. Grandpa walks slowly, like sap down a tapped Canadian Maple.

Grandpa walks as slowly as an injured antelope after a lioness partially misses her strike, escaping with a crippled back leg.

2. We gaped at the double rainbow like a hairy hippy in the cascading lands of Colorado.

We gaped as unabashedly as a panhandler begs for a change of heart and coins at the double rainbow.

3. That old sofa is worn ragged like a Hollywood red light lady after a tough night on the streets.

That old sofa is as worn as all references to Borat and Sacha Baron Cohen.

4. The foxes slip away like my childhood after I met pornography.

The foxes slip away as smooth as a ninja playing Hide-and-Seek with Elementary School children.

5. She works hard every day like a fool who thinks it actually gives meaning to their life.

She works as hard as a man every day; which means not much is getting done.

6. It was dusty at the building site like, "whoa!"

It was as dusty as Anne Colter's lady garden at the building site.